wat bout pragnant strippers??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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