So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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