Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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