its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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