I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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