She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize