remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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