Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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