Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize