I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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