help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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