ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize