I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize