Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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