Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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