discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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