It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize