We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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