Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize