I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize