Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize