u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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