No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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