look no pants
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk is not a location!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize