no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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