Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
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I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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