i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize