I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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