Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
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I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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