WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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