After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize