READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize