It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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