Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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