You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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