There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize