DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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