woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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