No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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