Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize