I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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