i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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