i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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