Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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