I'm going to jail i love you
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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