They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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