As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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