saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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