My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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