I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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