Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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