How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize